Anyone who ever knew my Gramps would probably be taken aback to know that someone confused him with Pope Benedict, but it did happen not so long ago...
One typical Sunday in Church, Logan decided he needed to use the potty. As anyone who has a 4 year old understands, you cannot ask a child to hold it - even while in Church. So, off we went, down the aisle in the middle of Mass to the back of the Church to the bathroom. As we got near the back of the Church Logan called out "Gramps!" with lots of excitement in his voice. Now, I knew that Gramps couldn't possibly be there because he lived across the lake and didn't get around all too well; however, I had to look around and see if I could spot anyone that might resemble Gramps. I didn't see anyone that looked anything like him, so I just said "No, Logan. Gramps isn't here today." and continued toward the bathroom. After the potty break was done, we went back into the Church and again Logan called out "Gramps!". This time, he was pointing. When I looked in the direction he was pointing, I saw it there: a portrait of Pope Benedict. I explained to Logan that it wasn't Gramps in the picture; it was Pope Benedict. He, of course, became extremely indignant and insisted that it was Gramps. After a moment I realized that I better start agreeing with him, or he was going to make sure everyone in the Church knew that the portrait was his Gramps. I remember laughing about it afterward. When I told my Mom what happened, we both cracked up together. I will always think of him when I see that portrait.
It's so strange to think how differently each person remembers others. To my mother, Gramps was a strict, forceful man who didn't cut his kids a lot of slack. He was stern and unbending.
To me, he was a sweetheart and as funny as a person can be. I think of him and I think of his skin; "as soft as a baby's behind" he would say. I think of his cologne, which was so strong that for hours after giving him a kiss on the cheek you could smell it and taste it on your lips. I think of the "sexy waves" in his hair, as he would say (man, he had such nice looking hair!). I think of his larger than life key ring with more keys on it than anyone would ever need (I still swear that he would just put random keys on that darn key chain). I think of his beeper and remember wondering: "Now what in the world would he need a beeper for?" - I don't think I ever heard that beeper go off! I think of the endless packs of sugarfree Extra gum which he gave out to anyone and everyone who would take one - it was his way of being sweet (and getting you to do what he wanted!). I remember crushing his "near beer" cans in the back yard for him. I remember his awful driving! He would bring me to religion school and he'd hit someone's car almost every single time and then swear that it was "just a love tap". I remember my cousins Jami, Aaron and I dashing to pretend like we were sleeping every time we heard him clanking down the hallway and then laughing because we thought we pulled one over on him. (I still feel kind of bad about that). I later realized that he knew better. Most of all, I remember his sweet smile and the love he showed me. He always cared about his grandkids and his door was open to ANYONE that ever needed ANYTHING. He never had much to give, but he'd give it all and more if you needed it. I loved him for that.
What saddens me is that my children won't have those memories. Mia will have no memories at all. I hope that Logan will remember the Gramps that sat there and pushed race cars with him, but I fear he will not.
I told Logan that Gramps went to Heaven yesterday and he looked at me with such a sweet face and questioned "We won't see him again, Mommy?". Sadly, I had to tell him that we wouldn't see him again for a long, long time but in the meantime we can talk about our memories, and look at our pictures.
We love you, Gramps and we'll miss you.
Logan was in a performance at the Children's Mass on Christmas Eve. He was a Donkey in the first play that took place before Mass began and was a Shepherd in the second play that took place at the end of Mass. He did such a wonderful job. Logan has come such a long way from the little boy who had an absolute meltdown at last years' Christmas performance. I can still remember sitting there in the Church watching all the other proud parents snapping pictures of their children singing their little hearts out, while my son sat next to me singing every word but refusing to go up with his class. I remember letting out a few tears because I wanted him to do it so badly but he just wouldn't even consider going up in front of all those people. What a long way my sweet little boy has come. He is really beginning to develop self confidence; as a mother there is nothing more pleasing to see. I am so very proud of him!
